Jokes d’jour.

 I met two guys wearing matching clothing. So I asked them if they were gay. They promptly arrested me.
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I have clean conscience. I haven’t used it once till now.
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 Condoms don’t equal safe sex. Her husband found us and things got anything but safe
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 The best thing about good old days is that we were neither good, nor old.
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A cannibal came home late to family dinner. He got the cold shoulder.
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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a shopping mall.
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I do say no to drugs. It’s just they’re not so good at listening.
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How to make a hot dog stand?

Take its chair away.
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You can’t fire me! Slaves can only be sold!!
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If you forget to pay for exorcism, will you get repossessed?Future. The time you’ll wish you’d done more in the current present.
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I kept trying to feed money into the change machine yesterday, but nothing changed!
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I will never forget my dad’s last words: “Will you stop playing with the bow, Nicholas?!”
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 That awkward moment when you enthusiastically try to tickle somebody who isn’t ticklish.

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