Топ-20 причин встречаться с врачом

1.Стетоскоп!!! (Была у нас в универе песня «Девченки полюбили не меня… проктолога девченки полюби-или! А у того врача трубка горяча…» Петь на мотив)

2. Он/она никогда не надоест вам, потому что всегда на работе.

3. Он/она может дать вам бесплатную медицинскую консультацию.

4. Вы избавите себя от смущения, собираюсь к врачу с диареей! (Спасибо дядеДоку за подсказку с переводом!)

5. Он/она умен/умна! (Оооо! Умный мужчина-врач – это эротично! Насчет женщин - говорят, тож ничего 🙂 личного опыта нету)

6. Он/она знает свою анатомию, (что, где и как у них работает) (Слышала мнение, что врачи очень развратны, ибо для нас нет тайны тела, как для других лиц. Честно говоря, вообще не вижу в этом беды – столько времени экономится для… ну вы поняли, да?)

7. Он/она будет центром внимания на вечеринке в выходные. (Вспоминается анекдот про то, как программист в гостях решил жаловаться проктологу на то, что его постоянно на вечеринках донимают с консультациями…)

8. Давай поиграем в доктора!!!

9. Он/она хорошо обучен(а) слушать. (Некоторые могут реагировать засыпанием, однако «Угу» раз в пять минут вы все равно услышите, это рефлекс)

10. Он/она знает, как вы себя чувствуете, или, по крайней мере, претендует на это знание! (Классический диалог с пациентом: «И как вы себя сегодня чувствуете? – Откуда я знаю, вы доктор, вам видней»)

11. У нее/него всегда есть в запасе интересная новая история.

12. Он/она всегда предложит вам платок, если хочется плакать (Сомнительно для наших бедных ЛПУ).

13. Он/она может не спать всю ночь, если вы хотите… (Может. Только не после дежурства. А вот на…)

14. Он/она может руководить вами в тренажерном зале. (В основном, запрещая :))

15. Деньги! (Хотя они много работают для этого) (Помните, это буржуйская двадцатка… у буржуев свои причуды)

16. Бесплатные медицинские ништяки!

17. Врача нельзя шокировать!

18. Он/она знает, что именно вы хотите услышать!

19. У нее/него всегда такой клевый прикид!! (Оооо! Эти зелененькие пижамки…!)

20. Они обучены сообщать плохие новости приятным способом. («Прыг-скок, прыг-скок, я веселый гонококк! Открывайте поскорее, я принес вам гонорею…!)

И помните, здесь все несерьезно 🙂

Источник
10 отличий врача от пациента

ОРИГИНАЛ
Over the past few years, I've come to really enjoy the possibility for significant change at the new year. It's the one time when we all agree we should look back, appreciate what we've done, and focus on new goals, or resolutions, for the coming year. Some of my prior resolutions have been, "I will find a job," "I will get into medical school," and (shamelessly) "I will lose 10 lbs."

But as I look back on the past year, I see a few things I regret -- missing family and friends, not exploring the world, having fewer stimulating conversations -- and I have resolved to move forward without having any more regrets like this (or at least limiting them).

The impetus for this resolution, among many others, is the following blog post:

The Top 10 Reasons Why You Should Not Go To Medical School...and the Single Reason You Should.
(UPDATE: The post has been removed but you can read comments/responses.)

It was written by a former pre-medical student advisor and trained physician who has chosen not to practice medicine. As I read the post I found myself shaking my head at the cynicism and bile. What I present below are the original blog's top 10 reasons to avoid medical school and my proposed rebuttals/resolutions:

1) You will lose all the friends you had before medicine.

Your good friends will understand the commitment you've made to your education and to your future patients. They'll understand that you're busy studying Friday night to do well on an exam Monday. And because you won't have as much time for them, they'll be happy whenever you can make time to hang out. Any friends who don't understand your new life and who hassle you weren't great friends to begin with. Resolution: make more time for friends. If there is that one great friend living far away who you miss but don't get to see often, save up $300 and fly to see them for a weekend. You'll be happy you did.

2) You will have difficulty sustaining a relationship and will probably break up with or divorce your current significant other during training.

So many people do break off relationships pretty early in medical school (see Turkey Drop). But there are so many examples of people making long-distance and long-term relationships work, too. I've been with my boyfriend since before medical school, we did long-distance for the first year, and we now live together in Baltimore. This is only my experience, but I've seen many other couples do it in my class and have several mentors who have been together 20+ years since before medical school. It's possible. Your relationship will not end because of medical school. And, honestly, if your relationship couldn't weather medical school, was it that strong in the first place? Resolution: spend more time with your significant other and never NEVER miss an opportunity to let them know you love them/appreciate them putting up with your crazy medical student life.

3) You will spend the best years of your life as a sleep-deprived, underpaid slave.

Sleep is overrated. You'll be surprised what you can do on 4 hours of sleep. Just kidding. Yes, you'll likely sleep less in medical school and as a doctor. But you get to choose how you live your life. Resolution: quit whining about sleeping less and if you need to sleep more, structure your life accordingly.

4) You will get yourself a job of dubious remuneration.

Doctors get paid very well. Yes, we have significant debt, but we still get paid very well. If you're in medicine for the money, get out now. Resolution: live within your means, diversify your sources of revenue, and know that you can be rich with little gold.

5) You will make a mistake and it will cost you.

Mistakes are inevitable, and we do need to be held responsible when they occur; avoiding responsibility for your mistakes means you shouldn’t be caring for others. We must constantly push ourselves to prevent mistakes, whether through training or addressing flaws in the system. Resolution: become the kind of physician who makes few mistakes, acknowledges when he does, and works to change the SYSTEM to prevent future mistakes.
6) Being a physician doesn’t carry the social significance it once did.

It’s true. Physicians and surgeons are not the gods they once were. Nor should they be. Resolution: live a life that leads by example.

7) You won’t have as much time to care for your patients as you think.

A good doctor will know when they need to spend more time with their patient and will say, “Wait, I’m going to need a moment longer with you.” Your patients that are waiting will learn to appreciate you for being honest and for taking the extra time to care for them. Resolution: know when to be efficient and when to take the time to care.

8) You will begin to hate your patients and, by extension, people in general.

Yes, there will be days you’re mad and frustrated with your patients; it’s part of working with people. But if you begin to hate your patients, you need to take a step back and remind yourself that they’re seeking your help and support and that it is your duty to give it. Resolution: be cheerful in the face of frustration.

9) People you don’t even know will hate you.

Who cares?? Resolution: Live life spending less time worrying about what people think of me and more time helping them.

10) Your patients won’t listen to you.

At the risk of sounding paternalistic with this analogy... Much like children don’t always listen to their parents, our patients may not either, even when it’s for their own health and well-being. It is our task to remain patient, educate them, and ensure they know we are here to help whether now or in the future. Resolution: dig a deeper well of patience for everyone in my life.

What do you think of that initial list? Why? What are some of your New Year’s Resolutions?

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